


Truth

by Emerald Embers (emeraldembers)



Category: Heroes - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-10
Updated: 2010-04-10
Packaged: 2017-10-08 20:39:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/79314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldembers/pseuds/Emerald%20Embers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Peter just wants to be Peter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Written in season one.

Peter is tired of lying.

'Good guy' or not, he's a damn good liar; probably comes with the territory, being in his family and doing his job. Besides, you can't have faith without questioning it at some point and can't act like you have faith without pretending you've never questioned it.

Nathan's not much larger than him physically but he's got this presence, this essence to him Peter can't describe that just makes him _feel_ like a big brother. Nathan's said before that Peter's eyes are for drowning in, but Nathan's own are dark and go _deep_, and there's something there that's only for them, something other people can't have or know about.

Peter knows that on principle he ought to feel cheap or wrong for letting Nathan into his bedroom for this reason, knows that his brother is married and even the slightest thought of what could happen if the voters outside ever find about this makes him queasy. But this - _they_ don't feel dirty or sick or vile or any other term normally applied to incest. Even 'incest', the descriptor for this, feels dirty. They don't.

Peter's tired of going without and pretending he'll grow out of this someday, tired of pretending he's perfectly alright without his brother, of pretending he'll ever want or need or love someone else the same way.

Nathan's efficient, stripping out of the suit with practised ease and helping Peter take off the layers he's grown fond of wearing while the central heating is busted. Sometimes Peter's grabby, sometimes Nathan is, sometimes it's just easy between them and that much he thinks is never going to change.

Nathan's kisses go deep, no pretence of chastity here, and then they move to the bed to lie side by side and it's enough at first just to be held, erections pressed against each other's. It's this bit Peter misses the most when they have to be apart. More, even, than the afterglow where Nathan's intelligence can be sharp and cruel, or the orgasms that are mostly fantastic but sometimes, if alcohol or laziness gets in the way, suck. He misses this; being held, knowing he's safe in his growing arousal as he breathes in his brother's scent of good, expensive cologne, cinnamon-mint toothpaste, decent hotel shampoo.

Nathan's the one who takes charge this time and that's good, it's what Peter wants today, and sometimes they don't understand each other but sometimes they _do_, and Nathan's hand wraps around both their erections firmly, stroking slow and hard. Peter's sure he just gasped louder than he meant to but it's alright, it's all alright.

This always feels good on some level, even days when Peter's been sobbing himself sick or Nathan's temper has got the better of him, but it's not this that explains what they have for each other. Sex they both can get elsewhere - and Nathan does, regularly - nothing unusual in that because even if incest is wrong it doesn't make what they do kinky for one another. Sex is sex, it's great with the right person, no shock there.

But they can be themselves here. That is different. Peter has to be the good, doting helper no matter his mood or his feelings about the person he's working with. Nathan has to play Captain America, the perfect patriot whose policies just happen to coincide with public opinion, a man who has the ideal WASP lifestyle; the wife, the car, the career - some day a white picket fence and children playing in the back yard, maybe a dog.

They're not complete lies, not entirely, but they're truth bent over backwards with its flaws airbrushed out of the way to magazine perfection.

Here Peter is Peter and Nathan is Nathan, for better or worse, and they'll always look out for each other and love each other and be wholly, wholly fucked up but Peter _likes_ this part of not being in a normal family.

Peter hooks one leg around Nathan's so he can get a bit of leverage for moving and Nathan grins, getting the idea, starts moving his hips in small circles so that his hand doesn't have to do all the work, and Peter moves one of his hands down to join in even if the competitive streak between them means taking turns more than helping each other out. He doesn't mind, stops looking down at what they're doing after another moment so he can slide his free hand into Nathan's hair and grip tight as they kiss again, not as deep this time, hunger and the constantly increasing need for air and sound forcing the kiss to break over and over, changing into something messy and desperate, and Peter feels his entire body tensing up but he fights back the orgasm as long as he can, determined to prove his own stamina.

Nathan, as ever, seems to know and laughs once before squeezing tight and Peter can't help it, coming hard and fast between them, but feeling a little vindicated when Nathan orgasms brief moments later. He's getting better at holding out, or Nathan's giving in sooner; he's not sure which, and it doesn't really matter.

"Bastard," Peter laughs when he's got his breath back, and Nathan slaps a wet hand across his backside.

"Language," Nathan scolds before nuzzling Peter's neck and settling against him. "You good for the night?"

"Always. No one expecting you?"

Nathan shakes his head, hair brushing against Peter's jaw. It's softer than normal, not tickling the same; probably been conditioning it for television appearances.

Peter closes his eyes, not entirely ready to sleep but feeling as if he should. They're not normal - none of this is normal - but no matter how messed up his family can be he knows he's loved, and that counts for something. He'd die for Nathan and he's as close to certain as he can be that Nathan would die for him. He hopes to god that he'll never test that theory.

Nathan's warm against him and comfortable, something that only ever surprised him the first time, and even though he's the little brother, Peter can't help feeling like the protector here. Even if he does get tired of lying, his particular lie is a lot easier to maintain than Nathan's. It's an everyday lie seen on shop assistant faces and hospital visitors, the brave face that tries to act as if life is easy.

Life's not easy. It's almost never easy.

Peter tilts his head slightly so he can rest his cheek against Nathan's hair.

Life's not easy, but times like this make up for it.

.

The End


End file.
